Assalamualaikum and peace to all
Today is my 25th birthday. No celebration and no cake but I just hope that my life will be bless by Allah in everything I do and wherever I go.
insya-Allah...Ameen
Monday, April 11, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Ashamed and a Test
Assalamualaikum and Peace to All
After almost a year graduate from university, I started to feel ashamed and useless for the reason that after spend almost 6 years at university, I still can help my family especially my mother out of poverty. Many people around my life such my mothers siblings, my cousin and my villagers hope that my success to further my study at university will enable me to have a good career and life,thus will lead my family out of poverty that has been part of our life for long time.
Nonetheless to say, i always feel a kind of burden whenever i think about it. How to carried a burden and hope of people that one day, I will be able to get a good job and bring prosperity to my family.
In fact, most of my people who know me very well always ask my mother, what kind of job that I work now. I know my mother might feel reluctant to answer it. If I have good job, as i supposed to be, many thing will change in mother life.
Now, as close to my birthday on 11 April, i feel a burden, stress and tension whenever i think about my life. When I sit alone and think, i ask myself, is it i am unlucky to get job(nauzzubillah)? or i am not competence enough or this is the test from Allah to test my faith, to see whether I'm a good servant or not.
I know after all,whatever happen, I have to put my trust to Allah.
It's hard to explain what I'm feel but I guess it's ok because I'll keep believing.
After almost a year graduate from university, I started to feel ashamed and useless for the reason that after spend almost 6 years at university, I still can help my family especially my mother out of poverty. Many people around my life such my mothers siblings, my cousin and my villagers hope that my success to further my study at university will enable me to have a good career and life,thus will lead my family out of poverty that has been part of our life for long time.
Nonetheless to say, i always feel a kind of burden whenever i think about it. How to carried a burden and hope of people that one day, I will be able to get a good job and bring prosperity to my family.
In fact, most of my people who know me very well always ask my mother, what kind of job that I work now. I know my mother might feel reluctant to answer it. If I have good job, as i supposed to be, many thing will change in mother life.
Now, as close to my birthday on 11 April, i feel a burden, stress and tension whenever i think about my life. When I sit alone and think, i ask myself, is it i am unlucky to get job(nauzzubillah)? or i am not competence enough or this is the test from Allah to test my faith, to see whether I'm a good servant or not.
I know after all,whatever happen, I have to put my trust to Allah.
It's hard to explain what I'm feel but I guess it's ok because I'll keep believing.
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