“aik, sal buku ni gak yang kau beli? Kan buku ni untuk perempuan? Macam la tak da buku lain lagi ”. Kata seorang kawan
“ entah la, mungkin sebab cover dia yang cantik kot”. Saya menjawab.
“ ehh..ye ke? Entah-entah kau dah ade kot, sebab tu kau nak baca buku tu, jadi kau akan lebih faham tentang dia”. Dia cuba mengusik.
That conversation between me and my friend happened few months ago. My friend argued with me why amongst the many book available in the bookstore, that book (A Walk through Life, Issues and Challenges through the eyes of a Muslim Woman) become my choice. I bought that book long time ago in a bookstore but only finish reading a year later.
I don’t really know why, but one think I’m really sure myself, I always excited when I go to bookstore. I read variety of books, history, religion, politics, science, ideologies etc. Any books that seem to be interesting and will benefit to me, I will not hesitate to buy even though it may cost a lot of money.
I always wonder about women.
My wonders to the women based on the fact the patience and hardworking that shown in my mother’s life. For the last few years my mother used to be my inspiration. The struggle, hardworking, and never give up that built up inside her soul inspired me when I was studying in the university. At that time, perhaps because I already mature, I started to realize how special my mother in my life. Every time I look into my mother eyes, I can feel a kind of spiritual energy transfer that can not be described by any energy transfer formula that ever learned in the school or university. That spiritual transfer that always motivate me at the moment when I feel depress, lonely and at the time when I lost my life. The only thing that can describe this spiritual transfer is the love of the son to his mother.
Perhaps, that is the only reason why I feel very enthusiastic to read this book, to understand more about women, thus understand also the special attitudes that have in my mother as a woman.
The book had been written by a woman, so some part of the book seems to be more inclined and biased toward the woman. But it’s ok, because as a reader we need to be a smart reader.
Here is some of the important points that I get from the book.
1)Women and men are not same
As prominent Muslim scholars form US, Yusuf Estate said, men and women are not same. But there is fairness between them. If you be able to understand this concept, you can see how wonderful Allah swt created the human being. Men and women have been created with their own characteristics to fulfill the role and responsibilities that have been placed on them.Man being created with strong with deeper voice, strong and tough. That’s why man can play him role as protection to the wife and children.
“ Men are the protector and maintainers of women, because God has given the more( strength) than other , and because they support them from their means……….”-an-Nisa’ 4:34
On the hand, women being created with soft personality. A woman normally has melodious voice, beautiful and petite. A woman is submissive, more emotional, caring, patience and always precise in whatever she does. That what make woman different from man and be able to wake up in the middle of night when the newly baby crying, pending for the milk. Man, on the other hand, will continually sleep even he is the one who notice the baby is crying (opps, not all man like that laaaa..).
2)The need for a man
Like a man who needs a woman to support and give strength in his life, the same thing goes to a woman. A woman hopes that man can lead her to sail the life to the future, to provide a good life not only to both of them but also to their coming children. For the Muslim, the task is more, not only to sail a comfortable life in the future, but also to make sure the path they are going through is according to the Islamic principles. Even, in Islam, the purpose of married itself is to attain the pleasure of Allah. No love can be put above the love to the Almighty Allah. In fact, the love feeling between different genders consider as one of the sign in Allah creation;
“ And among His Signs is this, that He Created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your( hearts); verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”-Surah Ar Rum 30:21.
If I’m not mistaken, in Islam when a person get married, she or he is already consider fulfill a part of his religion. It’s mean here that, if the love between the spouses is because of Allah, the marriage and they newly life can bring close to the Allah. Otherwise, if the love because of nafs, then they married may end up with failure in the future after they feel bored with one another.
Married make everything between a man and a woman halal, thus protect the society from the social problems and created the future generation of Muslim with the peaceful and Islamic environment.
3)The Sex Life
The title ‘The Sex Life’ might see to be not appropriate and sensitive to be discussed. But as the 23 years old young man (which is should be mature enough..he..he..),I think it is reasonable to discuss here.
The one which had been born as a normal person cannot deny the important of the sex. Even though you may have many reasons for getting married, the sex desire for sure is an important reason since to it is a part of human requirement and Islam make it halal by allowing marriage.
In the some society, they tend to believe that a woman duty is to serve husband only, so perceive in her mind that husband sexual desire should be fulfill first and forgetting her own need. There are also those who advocate that the wife has no right to refuse the husband right for sexual intercourse, where as the wife no right likes the husband for sexual intercourse. This opinion perhaps, not in the line with the purposes of marriage which is as complement to each other. A wife is a garment for husband and husband is garment for the wife. So, how could be in the sexual matters which related to husband and wife and can create a loving between the spouse can be only the right of the on part only? The role of husband to fulfill and satisfy his wife‘s sexual need can avoid a wife from committing zina out of despair or frustration from being neglected by husband in sexual matter.
4)Nurturing the children
When you are still single, you are feeling lonely. You feel like there is something wrong with you and there is some emptiness in your heart that you need to fulfill
with. Other than fill your heart with the taqwa to Allah, you also know that as human being, you need a person that can be your life partner until the end of life. So, you start to find and get married and you thanks to Allah, because at last the emptiness has been filling with the present of a loving one. As life goes on, you start to feel bored with a new life. Then, you start to realize that boring in a marriage life can be eliminated by the present of children and start to plan for it. That’s how the life going on. With the father, mother and children, that’s what we called as family.(Baby's picture: here)Children are the gift from Allah swt. They are trust form Allah to the parents, so parents have responsibilities over children and otherwise. Children can be light to the parent if they grow up with the Islamic values being installed in their soul and can also being a pain if they grow up otherwise. Children are born pure and the parents that responsible to shape a child attitudes to what ever their want to be in the future.
There is a story of a man who brought his son to the umar al Khattab and complaining his son act that not respect him at all. Upon hearing, Umar r.a said “o boy, don’t you know what right a father has on his son?
The boy then asks “o commander of the faithfull! Do the children too have right over his father?”
Umar r.a replied by “first, he should search for a good mother. He should marry with virtuous, religious women, and must not marry any questionable nature and doubtful character. Second, he should name the child with a good name, and third, he should impart religious knowledge of child and teach Quran”.
The son replied by said that none of the right had been fulfill by his father.
This story tells us how important of a woman to find a good and righteous man to be a father of her children. The same is expected to a man to search a righteous woman, so that they can nurture and grow up the children to be good person in the future and provide the Muslim ummah with good generation that can built again a great Muslim civilization like what we had previously.
The above points are only few important points that I pick from this book.
That’s it for this entry. Thank you for reading….
P/s:I wish happy mother's day and happy birthday to my mother. She will celebrate her 49 anniversary( if im not mistaken) this coming friday ,15 may.
::Faisal
::9:12 pm, in Library
::Wednesday,May 13,2009
