I had read this book about three times in time span of a week last year
(2020). It is just showing that how good this book for me and most probably for
most people who facing the same problems as raised in this book.
It has always been difficult to describe what is loneliness or depression feel alike. There is no exact word to explain it as it is something to do with the internal of self. It is within our heart, our mind. But the outcome of it somehow can be seen through attitude and behaviour although some of people might be good at conceal it.
It is had been a tough time for me since teenager. I feel like being ignored by everyone and closed one. But I pretty much understand the situation that led to this. Neither I do blame my family nor the God.
I never thought I had depression, though the thinking of don’t want to life anymore had been circulated in my minds when I was in early 20’s. I never diagnosed for this. But it only got me thinking when I met someone who had been in depression. That person had recovered from depression and told me that I’ve sign of depressions.
I though deeply and evaluation myself before I realized that person could be right. Among the signs are loneliness, like to be alone and somehow feel stress over little things. And I am still remembered the night I cried a lot, feeling the deep loneliness and deep pain inside my heart.
So, this book by Yohan Hari was more than just the good reading for me. But more on to give me the solution for my years of problem. How a small little thing could make my life better. The book was written by author based on his experiences on depression and having interview many peoples across many field - from the professor in well-known university to the farmer in the small village in Vietnam.
The book consisted of two major part, firstly - the disconnection for something that lead human to depression and re-connection that will store the human to normal. In easy word, those depression and anxiety that human experience occur due to the loss of connection of few basic things that human naturally required. The solution? To connect back to those things.
I am here to share two disconnections that lead us to depression and two connections that will help, extracted from this book.
2 disconnections that cause depression
1. Disconnection from people
There is a question, if either your depression led to loneliness or isolation or another way around? Disconnection from interaction or socializing with people can lead you to feel depress. Human was born to be live in together and remove this from life lead us to deviation from our natural need.
2. Disconnection from meaningful work
There a word saying, “if you do the thing you like, you don’t have to work for a second”.
Well, that is true indeed. If you do something you like, you do not care if it is difficult or not. It has become part of your life.
I always hear people saying, currently you just need to grab any job you get especially for the fresh graduate. It is correct for survival but for the other perspective, doing the thing you might not enjoy might create problem in the future.
Work for the purpose of money alone might be good for survival but for the long term, it might get you depression/stress - unless of you try to love job, have meaningful values of doing it. On the employer perspectives, it is important to make sure employees feel they are valued, feel what they are doing have real meaningful values for company. Empowering employer by acknowledge their success and role will eventually help them to have meaningful values for the job.
On the other side, over-workload, criticizing over small mistake, not acknowledge employees for their contribution can create stress situation for the employees. They come to work without feeling happy. The workplace just places for getting money and not for having meaningful life.
2 reconnections that will help reduce depression
1. Reconnection to meaningful values
Materialism has strong correlates with stress and anxiety. It becomes more serious when we are bombardment with a lot of advertisement on billboard, newspaper even social media. We are told to look good by buying this and that. All this are toxic that the company try to influence ourselves.
But how many times that we are thinking that we going to happy when we buy stuff we need, end up after few days we are no longer excited about it. By that time, we have new desire for other stuff, and we are thought we going to get happy if we get them. This cycle keeps going on. If we do not realize that our desire has no limit, we will end up sad when our desire for stuff not meet. This can lead to depression.
The fact the desire for this materialistic stuff somehow has no meaningful values. We should realize that there are more important values need to make us happy. Materialistic stuff will never make our happiness last longer. Intrinsic values such as spent time with love one will do help to bring more joy and avoid depression.
2. Reconnection to acknowledging and overcoming childhood trauma
It is undeniable that childhood trauma can caused depression in adult life. Rape, child abused can left huge impact in someone life. Often, people who had childhood trauma will not tell their experiences to anyone, as afraid of judgement in their life.
But research show that for someone that have depression due to the childhood trauma can help them overcome this if they tell the story to someone that they can trust. By expressing their feeling and tell the story, they will be acknowledging on what happened in past. They will accept on what had happened and move forward with moment life. This will help to reduce the trauma and eventually depression as time goes by.
Those causes of depression and how to overcome it just part of the book. I highly recommended you read if you are curious what else the causes of depression. Some of things are just small little thing that can help us or help other people in overcome the depression and anxiety in their life.
Thanks, see you in the next post.
